


You're an Ocean, Beautiful and Blue

by avan337



Category: Community (TV)
Genre: F/M, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:22:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,616
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26207134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/avan337/pseuds/avan337
Summary: Annie wants Jeff to admit to his feelings for her, until she doesn't
Relationships: Annie Edison/Jeff Winger
Comments: 3
Kudos: 43





	1. I Can Handle Your Heart, So Help Me

**Author's Note:**

> I love the song _Ocean_. I feel like it's a good take on Annie wanting Jeff to admit his feelings, before she lets go at the end of S5 (if you believe that kind of thing). :-) 
> 
> These post-ep scenes represent their relationship over time and coordinate to different parts of the song.
> 
> _Ocean_ , written by Sarah Buxton, Tofer Brown and Abe Stoklasa, performed by Lady A

**S2 post-“Paradigms of Human Memory”**

From her seat, Annie sees Jeff out of her periphery, holding his tray at the end of the lunch line and wavering. He clearly sees her sitting by herself, but they haven’t been alone since the group’s meltdown in the study room. It’s obvious to Annie he’s not sure what state she’s in.

When he slides into the booth across from her, she eyes him warily, but still smiles and gives him a warm hello.

“Crazy couple of days, huh?” he asks casually, “Although, every day at Greendale is crazy. I guess –“

“Don’t bother, Jeff,” Annie cuts him off. “I’m not going to say anything more about the ‘Annie of it all’ or about you and Britta…hooking up. It’s fine. You can just talk.”

She tries to hide the pain in her voice, but she knows by his expression that he can see it in her eyes. Annie watches him work something out in his mind. Sighing heavily, he says, “I’m sorry about the…turn things took the other day. Look, Britta and I decided to stop fooling around.”

Inside she is thrilled, but she’ll be damned if she lets him see it. “Oh, why should I care about that?” she asks, her voice dripping in sarcasm. “I’m not _reading into things_ anymore, so it doesn’t matter to me who or what you do.”

“Annie,” he huffs, frustrated. “I don’t want…” Jeff searches her face, willing her to give him some leeway. “I don’t want things to be weird between us. I would hate it if I couldn’t just talk to you. Can you understand that?”

Annie understands, all right. She understands that this is the best Jeff can do. He won’t own up to the truth, even when it’s just the two of them. It makes her want to scream, to stomp her fists on the table, to throw her meatloaf on his head. But she knows, deep down, none of that would do her any good. They may be sitting across from each other, but in that moment, they could have been worlds away.

“Yes, I understand that,” she says softly, kindly. Immediately the tension in his face and shoulders relax. “I would hate that, too.”

He nods, and they eat in silence for a few moments. 

Annie knows she needs to reassure him that everything is fine, so she gives him a conspiratorial smile and asks, “Speaking of crazy, did you see what Leonard is wearing today?” 

“Oh, my god,” Jeff laughs, “it’s like a hippie took a nap and woke up in the 80s.”

Having reestablished the peace, they move on. Neither of them completely satisfied.

> _How can someone stand so damn close  
>  And feel like they're worlds away?  
>  I can see your sad story eyes  
>  So how do you have no words to say?  
>  All I want is to fall in deeper  
>  Than I've ever been, why won't you let me?  
>  I can handle your heart, so help me_
> 
> _Here you are, next to me  
>  So much beauty at my feet  
>  All I wanna do is swim  
>  But the waves keep crashin' in  
>  No, I'm not afraid to drown  
>  Take me out, take me down  
>  I'm so tired of the shore  
>  Let me in, baby  
>  You're an ocean, beautiful and blue  
>  I wanna swim in you_


	2. I Don't Wanna Find Out How Much Lonely I Can Take

**S3 post-“Pillows and Blankets”**

“Notice something different about me today?” Jeff asks Annie with a smile as he slides into his seat at the study table.

“Your ego grew overnight?” she snarks back.

Ignoring her dig, he pushes a black composition book closer to her. “No, I am the proud owner of my very own journal.”

Annie is genuinely shocked. “You really did that?”

“Yep,” Jeff answers, leaning back in his seat. “I’m just that awesome.”

She rolls her eyes. “Have you actually written anything in it?” 

“How dare you!” he replies, still good naturedly. “Of course I have.”

“And has it helped you at all? Have you learned anything about yourself, your feelings?”

Jeff shakes his head. “Annie, I don’t know what you’re writing in your journal, but there’s nothing life-changing in here. I’m basically recapping my day.” 

She sighs and gives him a disappointed look. “Then why bother? If you don’t actually want to learn anything more about yourself, why even take the time?”

He leans in closer to her. “Look, I bought the damn journal. I’m writing in it,” Jeff tries to keep his tone even, though he’s starting to feel angry. “Can’t you just be happy that I did what you asked?”

“I didn’t ask you to do anything,” Annie replies quietly.

He stares her down for a moment. Letting out a breath, he backs away. “You’re right,” he admits. “You didn’t ask me to do anything.”

“So why did you buy it?” she asks, wide-eyed.

“Because I don’t like it when you ignore me,” he says simply.

“Because you need everyone to like you,” she rebuffs, rolling her eyes again.

Jeff’s eyes never leave her face. “No, because I specifically want you to like me.”

“Oh.” It comes out as a small gasp, her mouth agape. After a moment she says, “Maybe you _are_ getting in touch with your feelings.” It’s a small risk, a test of the Jeff-Annie waters. She holds her breath as she waits for his reply.

“Maybe I am,” he answers.

She is calculating her next step when Pierce yells from his seat at the other end of the table, “What are you two talking about? Is Jeff confessing to you that he’s gay?”

His outburst causes the other conversations to cease and the rest of their friends to stare at them, waiting.

Jeff glances around at them and turns his body slightly to the right, further away from Annie. “We were just agreeing that it’s good to have the group all back on the same side again, no more fighting,” he says.

Annie fights off the urge to cry. She berates herself for thinking this would go any other way than it has. Noticing that everyone is now looking at her, she recovers herself and adds, “Yep! We’re glad everything’s back to the way it’s always been.”

They never speak about his journal or this conversation again.

> _Like a lighthouse, I've been shinin' bright  
>  Through the dark for the both of us  
>  And, "I've done it outta love" is not enough  
>  But God, how I wish it was  
>  And I don't wanna find out  
>  How much lonely I can take, before you lose me  
>  Baby, look at me and swear you won't lose me_
> 
> _Here you are, next to me  
>  So much beauty at my feet  
>  All I wanna do is swim  
>  But the waves keep crashin' in  
>  No, I'm not afraid to drown  
>  Take me out, take me down  
>  I'm so tired of the shore  
>  Let me in, baby  
>  You're an ocean beautiful and blue  
>  I wanna swim in you_


	3. From Moments in Your Arms

**S4 post-“Conventions of Space and Time”**

After all the back and forth about leaving or staying, the whole group decides to get dinner together before Pierce and Shirley head for home. Since no one knows the town, Annie offers up a suggestion.

“I’ll ask Randy!” she exclaims, drawing looks of confusion from her friends. “He’s the hotel concierge,” she explains. “He’s really nice, and besides, I owe him an apology.”

“I’ll come with you,” Jeff offers, giving her a knowing glance and leading her away by the elbow.

Annie assumes he just wants to delight in her embarrassment so she doesn’t say anything. They find Randy in the hotel lobby.

“Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Winger,” he greets them warmly, “Glad to see you two have patched things up.”

“Actually, Randy,” Annie begins before Jeff cuts her off. 

“Yes, we have, Randy, and thank you for taking such good care of my wife earlier.” Jeff offers him a warm smile and a handshake. She marvels once again at his ability to lie so convincingly.

Once Randy suggests a nice bistro down the street and they start back towards the group, Annie turns to Jeff. “You didn’t have to lie for me, you know.”

He doesn’t even bother to look down at her as they keep walking, “I know. I did it for me.” He pauses a beat before glancing down to see her confused expression. “Every member of that hotel staff saw you throw a drink in my face and heard you accusing me of cheating. It was my turn to save face by making them think I got you to forgive me in a span of an hour.”

“That’s fair, I guess,” Annie says, nodding her head. “So are we even?”

“Only if you never make me order an appletini again,” he replies, smiling and placing his hand on her back to let her know he’s just joking.

Annie would have left it at that, but Jeff is very attentive to her for the rest of their trip, and he keeps up the lie. He insists they both order breakfast from her room the next morning and that he be the one to open the door when it arrives. “Gotta show them the Wingers know how to make up, amirite?” 

She wonders if it really is about saving face, or if he just feels guilty for ditching her the day before. Or could it possibly be that he is enjoying the lie, too?

She has a huge grin plastered on her face as she brings down her bags, conjuring up all kinds of conversations they might have on the drive home. She’s surprised to see Abed in the lobby standing next to Jeff’s bags. 

“Hey,” she offers as she stops next to him, “are you guys leaving now, too?”

Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Jeff’s car pull up to the front door; he gets out and begins walking towards them.

“No, Jeff asked me if I wanted to ride back with you,” Abed answers, “I guess he figured Troy and Britta could use some time alone.”

She tries to hide her disappointment as Jeff arrives, shouldering his own bags and most of hers. “This everything?” he asks, looking down at her.

“Yeah,” she replies. “So, Abed’s riding back with us?”

“Yep,” is all the answer he offers before turning around and heading to the car with the bags.

“I call shotgun!” Abed yells as they both follow behind Jeff. 

The ride home is nothing more than Jeff and Abed bantering about movie plots and hot actresses. Annie tries to read but can’t concentrate. Instead she stares out the window and holds a quiet eulogy for her first adult vacation, and for the Wingers.

> _I can't let it go  
>  From moments in your arms  
> But they come back again  
> The waves, the waves, the waves, the waves  
> The waves, the waves, the waves, the waves_


	4. I'm So Tired of the Shore

**S5 post-“Basic Sandwich”**

Annie and Abed stand on the outer edge of the cafeteria, watching the festivities from the sidelines. Finally she looks over at him, offers him a smile. “Thank you for believing in buried treasure with me, Abed. You’re a really good friend.”

“You too, Annie,” Abed replies as they hug. “I’m glad we saved Greendale.”

From the center of the celebration, Jeff sees Annie and Abed hug then Annie leave. Slipping away, he tries her locker first then the study room, but she’s not at either place. He finds her standing in front of the trophy case, bag slung across her shoulder, looking at the framed newspaper article commemorating their debate win. 

“Hey,” he says, interrupting her reverie, “you’re missing the party.” 

She gives him a small, sad smile. “I’m happy about how things turned out, but it’s been a long day. Right now I’m more interested in a nap than a party.”

“Yeah, I get it.” Jeff nods as he takes a few steps towards her. He pauses, takes the sight of her in. “It’s strange. Even though we’ve been together, it feels like I haven’t seen you all day.”

Annie’s face brightens at that and she looks up, meets his eyes. “We had different storylines. At least that’s what Abed would say.”  


He flinches slightly. Different storylines is what she’s calling it. There would have been a time she would have confronted him head on. Now she’s giving generic speeches he knows are really about him and calling it different storylines. 

“Our storylines may have been different, but we wound up with the same ending,” Jeff says, gesturing towards her, “you saved Greendale.”

She huffs in slight disgust, “I didn’t save Greendale, Jeff. I just chose to hope and to believe in buried treasure.”

“Yeah, but that was half the battle, right? You always believe when the rest of us have given up.” He tilts his head toward the trophy case. “If it weren’t for you, there’d be no trophy in this case, and no school to contain it.”

She smiles for a moment before returning to the sad, contemplative state he found her in. “It doesn’t feel like much of a victory when, after all these years, I’m still wondering if the fight is worth it.”

Her sense of defeat startles him, scares him a little. He was expecting her to laugh off his foiled engagement, dance until Starburns ran out of Dave Matthews tunes and insist they all go out for victory drinks because THEY! SAVED! GREENDALE! Or, at worst, she would be angry with him for his being stupid enough to believe marrying Britta would solve any of his problems.

But there is no joy and no anger in the Annie standing before him, looking at their photo in the newspaper clipping as though the two people pictured were strangers, people she was trying to remember. It was as if the events of the day had aged her somehow, worn down her normal shine. He finds himself longing for it, wondering how he can bring it back.

“Do you regret it?” Her question shakes him out of his thoughts.

He assumes this is about Britta, that she is finally ready to go there. “Regret what?”

“Being part of that debate,” she replies, eyeing the framed article. “’Man is evil.’ I don’t even believe that, you know?”

He feels stung by her asking that. Of all the regrets Jeff has had, and there are many, being part of that debate will never be one of them. 

“I never regret being on a winning team,” he answers with his typical Winger smoothness, “but maybe it was easier for me, because I do believe man is evil.”

She looks back up at him. He expects her to argue the point, tell him that deep down, he knows man is good. That he is good. But she doesn’t. “Do you regret it?” Suddenly he needs to know.

Giving another glance into the case, she replies, “I guess not, but sometimes I wonder how different I would be if we hadn’t…if we never did that debate.”

“Listen, Annie,” he begins, but suddenly she’s moving past him. “See you, later, Jeff.” She’s out of his reach before he can even put his arm out to stop her.

He watches her go; she doesn’t look back. He decides to go home, too. The party is definitely over.

> _Here you are, next to me  
>  So much beauty at my feet  
>  All I wanna do is swim  
>  But the waves keep crashin' in  
>  No, I'm not afraid to drown  
>  Take me out, take me down  
>  I'm so tired of the shore  
>  Let me in, baby  
>  You're an ocean beautiful and blue  
>  I wanna swim in you_


End file.
